Forums

miss-mysterious · 11:45 AM

I am suffering from Sucidal Depression and some people think its just one of those things that will go away but it won't, 2 years i lost interest in activities put on weight got angry at small things, hid my feelings, thought of suicide i had no positive future in my eyes, i never told anyone how i was feeling, since a small child i have had abuse and alcohol problems in my family i remember every beating i got of my mother and father everynight, somehow i think it's my fault i feel like this, i hate life, i hate living everyday that's just me, i spoke to my sister one day told her about the feelings i had when i was 15 i needed a counsilor in school for emotional problems my guidence teacher must've knew what i had because she gave me the counsilor, she tried telling my parents but they didn't take her seriously, i haven't had any good luck lately in my life and thats how i know when it's time to give up but suddenly i feel like all this has happend to me because i struggled in the past when through situations were i wish i could change but this is the way my luck is turning me too.

A friend of mine told me about her depression and said it was al her fault now this is making me think this is my fault? A lot of you will think wow she's telling people online, I can't speak about this to people in reallife they don't understand me they think i'm joking i even asked people on yahoo answers because most people understand what i'm going through.

My friend told me ending my life would be the best thing for me, just letting go.
I have decided to talk to a doctor but i'm scared at the same point because they might send me away or something, i have an appointment on wednesday which i am dreading, i need real opinions based on this, i have struggled for the last few months i'm getting worser depressed i try not to think about suicide but it's just there.

tenpins

I swing through depression a lot. Believe me, suicide is not the way out. There are ways to get help and there are medicines that can help you get better.

Although I haven't taken medicines before, I've confided in myself. I've become my own therapist. It's good to think of all the thing about yourself and discuss your problems with yourself. It's how I cope with it since I can't afford a therapist.

Since you're seeing your doctor, tell him about your suicidal depression. Explain to him that you don't want to go away to some place and you'd just like help from a medicine or another person. Tell the doctor in full detail what you're experiencing.

There's always hope. Remember that. Don't give up on yourself.

miss-mysterious

Trust me i don't want to die but i'm just not feeling like i use to be, i even had a theory saying i would go to colege try getting into the stuff i liked but it wasn't there, i just always felt down spent time on my mine and this time it's actually getting bad for me i'm scared as hell to be honest, anything ever good happens somehow it ends in a mess, i remember like my dad pulling my hair, choking me it makes me mad. I know i need help and i hope the progress works and i'm sorry you had depression but least i know i'm not the only one on meez like this.

germanyfgewinn

Might I ask your age?

miss-mysterious

Sure and i'm 16.

germanyfgewinn

Quote:

miss-mysterious wrote:

Sure and i'm 16.

It could very well be just a stage that you are going through. And before you go off on me, here me out.
Teenage depression is not uncommon. I myself have had undiagnosed Suicidal Depression since age 13. I expect I'll grow out of it in a few years. You just have to wait it out.

miss-mysterious

It could be, but i don't think you can grow out of depression i know one person who has suffered from depression for 6 years she takes pills now.

la_senorita_azul

I was recently diagnosed, but don't entirely believe that I am depressed. Anxious? Yes. Moody? Yes. Sleep-deprived? Yes. But I am a fairly content person. Happy? No, but I'm not necessarily sad, either. I tend to not have any opinions on myself whatsoever, which somehow equals a red flag for depression. I'm too busy pondering other things to worry about myself. I feel how I feel, and I don't how I don't. I don't feel like I should have to evaluate myself. I have a future planned for myself, and that's good enough for me.
However, I feel like I would be compelled to die if I was to take medication. If they need a pill to think for me, I may as well not think at all. Who are they to say how my emotions should be? I'm not going to harm anyone or myself if they just live and let live. The whole thought of taking a medicine that controls a major part of my personality terrifies me. If you want to take pills and hope for the best, go ahead, but I'd rather not take a personality-altering medication.

lunatic_leah

Depression is a serious condition and you need to look into it pronto.
Suicide is never the right thing to do. You're 16, you have potential. Don't lose sight of that.

Medications can help along with therapy. Don't make excuses on why you can't go to therapy or shouldn't try medication. We've come a long way with depression in recent years and Psychologists are discovering more and more about it while scientists are creating new treatments all the time. If you don't want to try medication or can't for whatever reason, extensive therapy is an alternative to consider. Don't worry about the money, there are free clinics and suicide hotlines that you can call, along with support groups both on the internet and in person, and If you're in highschool then you should consider talking to your guidance councilor or school psychologist.

You might want to try the website www.recoveryourlife.com for hotlines, support, and more information. It's the best I've found yet. There are chat rooms, forums and information about suicide, self-injury/self-harm, mental disorders and more.

duskuela

Pills alter your mood- not your personality. That's just ridiculous. I have PTSD and clinical depression and there's no way in hell I could get through this without medication. To be honest. Something about having flashbacks nightly makes it just a bit hard to move beyond the past. And have I changed? Absolutely. Because instead of being my depressions puppet, I'm guided by my identity and personality. My emotions are what lead me to attempting to hang myself, not my personality.

If you're just thinking about suicide the doctor won't just automatically send you off to a mental hospital. It depends on how set you are on it. Based on the fact that you don't want to, and don't appear to have immediate plans to- you won't be. You don't seem to be high risk, but that's just judging from a few sentences on the internet. My psychologist has only ever made me go to the hospital when I had suicide ideation, which involves things like obsessively planning suicide, hoarding pills to OD on and acting out suicide. If you're doing things like that, then I'm going to guess that you'll be sent to inpatient. Because that's kind of a really big problem.

Are we responsible for our depression? I'd say to a certain degree, yes. There are people whose problem is primarily biological, and others for whom the the problem is primarily psychological. I'd say the former isn't very responsible, but that the latter is in general more responsible. I mean, if you've been raped and in a war and abused as a child.. No one's seriously going to take a piss on you for being depressed. But generally people with somewhat average lives should have learned better coping strategies- the opportunities are all around us. In that case I'd say the person is responsible for his depression.

As an example, I consider myself responsible for my depression. Rape happens to plenty of women. I didn't have to alienate myself, self injure, whatever. People wanted to help me and I had learned better. Was it a shit position to be in? Absolutely. And I'm not saying that I, or anyone else is responsible for being abused. But you are responsible for your reaction to it. That's where control comes in.

But whether you're responsible for being depressed not, if you're depressed you still need help. So go out and get it. Don't expect others to fix the situation, because fixing it is entirely up to you.