[sumadii_kari]

I build walls
walls that protect
walls that sheild
walls that say i shall not yeild
or reveal
who i am or how i feel

i build walls
walls that laugh, or smile, or look away
silent lies
walls that may have blocked my eyes
from the tears i might have cried

i build walls
walls that never let me truly touch'
those i love so very much
walls that need to fall!!!!!!!!!!!!
walls meant to be fortressess
are prisons after all

[hij4eva]

Good one sis ,you will allways be the better poet that i cant say no to

[sumadii_kari]

Lol, thx hijy

[o_o-josh-o_o]

This is nice..i see what your trying to say but im confused... Love or a wall??? Therefor im rating it a three

[sumadii_kari]

Haha you meanie!!! Lolz, its actually about that emotional wall you put up, when you put up that wall to seperate yourself from the world. And at the she finds out that the walls she thought were protecting her were actually hurting her......yep yep lol

[bowaday_seelah]

I noticed a few mistakes, and corrected them in red. You always need to capitalize 'I.'
You might also want to capitalize the first letter of each line. It makes it look prettier.
I also suggest taking out the emoticon at the end. It kind of looks a little weird.

(I tried putting this in a quote, but it didn't work)
I build walls
walls that protect
walls that shield
walls that say I shall not yield (I before E, except after C. This rule doesn't always apply, but it does for 'yield' and 'shield')
or reveal
who i am or how i feel

I build walls
walls that laugh, or smile, or look away
silent lies
walls that may have blocked my eyes
from the tears I might have cried

I build walls
walls that never let me truly touch' (What's with this random apostrophe?)
those I love so very much
walls that need to fall!!!!!!!!!!!! (Why so many exclamation points?)
walls meant to be fortressess
are prisons after all


Now that that's said, I want to say that I really enjoyed this poem. Though the flow was a little shaky in places, I felt like I could relate.

[daddyzgurl1]

sumadii_kari wrote: i build walls walls that protect walls that sheild walls that say i shall not yeild or reveal who i am or how i feel i build walls walls that laugh, or smile, or look away silent lies walls that may have blocked my eyes from the tears i might have cried i build walls walls that never let me truly touch' those i love so very much walls that need to fall!!!!!!!!!!!! walls meant to be fortressess are prisons after all

that looks nice

[hooobo]

Sounds good.