[gtowngurl101]

Patrick dragged the girl into a near by feild, by the hair. " let me go please" she begged. " Shut the hell up" Patrick shouted at her. He dragged her until he got to the spot where he wanted to be. Patrick is a cold blooded murderer. He chosses his victims wisely, and made sure that he treated them with pure cruelness. He would kill only at night, no where near the city. Killing was a hobby to him. He had this deep feeling in his heart, that said he was meant to be this way, and like everyone else, he followed his demon heart. Patrick tossed the girl on the ground, and dropped to his knees. " please dont" the girl pleaded. Patrick ignored her. He slapped her and punched her until she couldnt say a thing. " you think you can mess with me" Patrick yelled at her. " huh, do you?" He yelled. Patrick put his hand up her dress and pulled her panties down to her ankles, and he unzipped his pants. " like everyone else I will make you suffer" he then climbed on top of her, and did what he planned on doing. He felt the girl body jerk up aganist his. She tried her best to fight him off, but he wouldnt move a muscle. "no" she cried out. This girl was only 6-teen years old, and she hasnt done a thing wrong to anyone, why did she deserve this? He moved on her very quickly then he came back up and zipped his pants. He pulled out his knife and said a few words. " say your prayers, because you are going to sleep for a very long time. And with that he stuck the knife where her heart was located, causing her to jerk up. He then took out his gun, and shot her ten times in her dome. There she layed completely motion less. Patrick then spit on her and p****d on her. He then turned and made his way back to his car, leaving the girl behind. He drove back off to the city with a wide grin across his face, thinking about how his next victim would suffer.

To continue....

[babygirl41681995]

Continue!
That was creative.

[olivialovs2write]

It was very detailed and actually put a picture in your mind.
Continue please.

[spork_ur_i_out2]

You're sentance stucture is weak and choppy and, while the story is written mostly fine, it's giving me a migrane trying to get through it.
Your spelling needs work, plain and simple.
While you can't indent on Meez, you need to press ENTER every time someone new speaks

[xrisxross]

"in her dome" LMFAO! Wow....
Patrick, the killer, is going to be in trouble if the police ever catch up to him. He left a lot of DNA behind.

[hooobo]

Its good, I like the way you have a lot of details in it, but you have minor grammar mistakes. Other than that I find it very creative.