[hannahjuly]

Once, there were 3 goth girls. & there Still is today. They are 16 years old. They ran into an alley to gossip about thr grim reaper bad boys. All bones & no flesh. THAT's why they wear cloaks. Goregina was eating a pig's leg, all the blood was everywhere. Suddenly, A GINORMOUS mosquito flew above their heads. "They're coming to suck our blood." said Gothette. "Cool." Replied Goregina. "I OWN a sniper." Bona said. "But I left it at home." "You left it at HOME?!" Yelled Gothette. She quickly pulled out some blood smelling salts & rot smelling bug killer. The mosquito turned into a Demon wolf, but Goregina ate that too. (The Demon Wolf) Gothette hissed at Goregina showing her fangs. She turned into a bat & bit Goregina's shoulder as hard as she possibly could. "Yum, more food." Goregina said as she licked the blood of her shoulder. Gothette growled angrilly. "SHUT UP!!!" Bona bellowed in anger. "It's daytime!" Bona yelled. "QUICK! GO TO OUR COFFINS!!!" Goregina yelled!

What happens next? Well you'll just have to find out won't you?!

[zayleus]

hannahjuly wrote: Once, there were 3 goth girls -- and they still are here today. They are 16 years old. They ran into an alley to gossip about the grim reaper bad boys. All bones & no flesh. That's why they wore cloaks. Georgina was eating a pig's leg, all the blood was everywhere. Suddenly, A GINORMOUS(sp?) mosquito flew above their heads. "They're coming to suck our blood," said Gothette. "Cool," replied Goregina. "I OWN a sniper," Bona said. "But I left it at home." "You left it at HOME?!" yelled Gothette. She quickly pulled out some blood smelling salts & rot smelling bug killer. The mosquito turned into a Demon wolf, but Georgina ate that too. (The Demon Wolf) Gothette hissed at Georgina, showing her fangs. She turned into a bat & bit Georgina's shoulder as hard as she possibly could. "Yum, more food," Georgina said as she licked the blood of her shoulder. Gothette growled angrilly. "SHUT UP!!!" Bona bellowed in anger. "It's daytime!" Bona yelled. "QUICK! GO TO OUR COFFINS!!!" Goregina yelled! What happens next? Well you'll just have to find out won't you?!

I fixed your mistakes. Please try to make it more presentable next time.

Anyways, continue. It's interesting.

[hannahjuly]

Now it is midnight at the 3 Goth Girl's secret lair. "I'm bored." Gothette told Bona. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!" Bona shreiked at Gothette. "Oh no, not THIS conversation again." Goregina sighed. "GOREGINA!" Yelled the other girls. "WHAT?!" She shrieked back playfully. "Oh you're just plain stupid." Bona sighed to herself. "What's that again?" Goregina asked curiously. Bona took a big sigh & then replied to Goregina "Nothing." Then there was a sudden silence. "Is Gothette.... DEAD?" Goregina asked Bona. "SHUT UP!!!" Gothette yelled. "I'm going to the bank. The BLOOD bank." Bona sighed. "Me too!" Goregina yelled excitedly. "Who ARE you, a prep?" Gothette asked smartly. "OI! Who are you calling a prep, uhh... Emo girl?!" Goregina asked Gothette while being confused. "Come on, let's go without her." Bona secretly whispered to Gothette. "Ok." Gothette whispered back.

What will happen at the BLOOD bank? Nobody knows... YET! -EVIL LAUGH-

[amazing_zia]

I think this needs to be re-written a bit, and I actually find this insulting. I'm kind of goth (if you want to label me) and you don't see me eating random demon wolves and having a name like Gothette. Maybe you could mention that they weren't average goths.

[alice_loves_hatter]

Although I like the bad names, the story doesn't eall have any build up and there's pretty terrible grammar all the way through... Also, just labeling them "three goth girls" then having them do weird things isgoing to insult a LOT of people. Make them something more than that, make them vampires, otherwise this story is pretty shallow and not very good
x.S.x

[lefty013]

The writing is horrible. Just horrible. Sorry, but that's about what it all comes down to. It's horribly immature as well.

Also, if you must label me, I'm goth (according to my own mother! she announced it in the freaking IHOP last night!) and I'm totally insulted by this. Goth isn't some kind of defining trait either, and we don't go around eating wolves and carrying around snipers and going to blood banks and accusing people of being preps.... And we definitely dont have names like "Gothette".

[alice_loves_hatter]

Y'know what the trouble with goths nowadays is? We can't be light hearted! Instead of going "I'm goth, I hate the names and I don't do that sort of thing", just have a little laugh about it... Come on, those names are funny and the actions are ridiculous! But I do agree that the writing needs work, it does seem to be a very bad play on a very bad stereotype...
x.S.x

[hannahjuly]

Ok, soz everybody. Plz lock this thread mod

[ashacullen]

No offence but the writing is really bad. And there is very little detail and explination. Sorry!