[soulja-girl4eva]

(go ahead be brutal critique away)(but compliments are especially welcome)
Oliver twisted

(that thing that comes before the story...epilogue...prolouge...y'know)

He just watched couldn't do anything but just watch. Be a man Oliver. That's what his father had said to him each time he was about to cry. But can you help it really.
Blow after blow he watched his mother slump to the floor. How is this being a man? Fighting something you know can't fight back. He watched his father stumble drunkenly around the little corner his mother was sitting in.
"Oliver go to your room." she rasped.
He shook his head.
Then his father's angry glare was on him. "Stupid boy don't you listen?! No one listens in this house!" he then turned around and pointed a finger at his wife.
"He gets it from you! You don't listen at all and you are a horrible example for him!"
"Look what you're saying" she screeched "you drink and hit his mother and I'm the bad example?!"
His fist then hit her squarely in the head and she was silent as her head drooped forward.
Oliver's father began to kick her unconscious body.
Finally Oliver had had enough.
He ran forward and pounded his father's leg with his tiny fist. "Stop it! You stop right now!"
Sure he could beat other kids to a pulp but his father was an entirely different story.
His father's hand came down on his head and he took him by the collar.
"What's wrong with you boy?!"
He dropped him and Oliver clutched at his head as he ran under the kitchen table.
His mother stirred and she tried to open an eye. "If you hit my child one more time I'm leaving." she said it quietly but who it was directed to heard it loud and clear.
"Who" he spit " the hell do you think you are talking to?!" he stalked toward her his hand raised.
Oliver tried to see through the tears that had managed to escape. His mother was battered and bloody and completely at his father's mercy.
She could really die this time, and for him.
His father's hand was still raised as he walked.
Oliver struggled to his feet and searched the drainer near the sink. He pulled out a knife. And ran toward his father. His father's hand seemed to go in slow motion as it was brought down.
Oliver leaped on his gather's back and with both hands took the knife and plunged it into his father's back.
Oliver stared at the blood that rushed out and slid off of his father's back.
His father let out a gasp and then swayed unsteadily for a few seconds before dropping to the ground.

I was 3 year old when I first met Oliver Burkins. It was at the Jersey Shore Beach and upon impulse I stuck my head in the sand near the water and got sand in my eyes. This made me more uncoordinated than usual. Which is how I ended up half-way to high tides. To make this unbelievably long and embarrassing story short I was dragged by my soggy pampers by Oliver all the way to my towel. My parents hugged and kissed him for saving me. I however was scolded like there was no tomorrow and called an unbalanced and incredibly dim child. I thanked Oliver in the best way that that I could with my oh so hip nursery school vocabulary. He just shrugged and smiled. Before then I hadn't even noticed that we lived across the street from each other. But since then I Hailey Simmons and Oliver Burkins became friends. I'm pretty sure he was wondering why this strange girl was always following him but whatever. We were the best of friends...Even though he didn't talk...or smile...or do anything that resembled human emotion but again whatever. But over time things changed.
He wasn't as nice as he was as a toddler. He developed the worst temper. I thought he was finally showing some feeling so I completely ignored this. I find my-self lucky that I never got on the wrong side of his temper. He wasn't just weird he was quite creepy. He cut school and threatened eveyone, talked to inanimate objects, the usual psycho stuff. I mean, I knew he wasn't very nice to begin with but other children didn't. He tortured innocent children! I mean sure they probably called him a freak first but grinding thier faces into the asphalt is just a little bit violent. For God's sake even the teachers were a little freaked out by him. I think that I was probably too stupid to comprehend fear. I think that bothered him though.
Me not leaving him alone.
He was always ignoring me when I talked. More than usual which would be a lot. Yes, he did this in the beginning, but then he started avioding me! I suppose my voice does bother some select few but I mean come on! The only reason my mother invited him over was because I insisted that he and I were buddies even though he destroyed my stuff and threw my bagged lunch out of the window.
Whenever he came over he always made a point of setting one of my Barbies on fire. But I was still his friend.
Then on April 7, 1998 a newspaper that was on my kitchen table said the strangest thing.
"11 Year Old Kills Father!" and below it was a picture of Oliver Burkins.
I was like, "What?" The only thing that concerned me was if Oliver was coming over and if I needed to lock my toy chest.
3rd degree burns on "Sing with me Barbie" doesn't stop a friendship but when your mother forbids "an unsavory little boy who is obviously out of his mind" to associate with her daughter she means business.
Since that day 7 years ago Oliver was put on permanent lock down and I lived my life.
Until I was about, 12, I used to look through the window and see if Oliver was inside but all I saw was ancient furniture.
My mother continued to put me in ballet classes determined that it would bring out my natural balance and grace. Which it did not. Everyone walked as far away from the Burkins lot as humanly possible. But I walked right past it each morning for all of my 17 years.

"Mooooom! I'm taking out the trash!" I skipped down the steps tripping down the last step and practically slingshoting my-self through the front door, snagging my ballet slippers on the welcome mat. As I was catapulted down the steps with my load of garbage I thought, Wow aren't ballerinas supposed to be graceful? I picked my-self up and continued my walk to the can. As I passed the Burkins' front yard a shadow much taller than mine followed behind.
"Mom I know I'm a klutz but I can walk in a straight line across a flat surface."
Snickering.
"Yes mom I'm hysterical." I dropped the bags in the can. By now the shadow was completely covering mine. I turned around
"Mom space. Can you—"
The scream was building in my throat.
"Hello Prancy Pants."
Oliver Burkins called me Prancy Pants.
Oliver burkins was supposed to be on lockdown in his basement for the rest of his life. And yet here he was infront of me. Now. Yeah, he was my friend and all but the whole sneaking up behind people and scaring them senseless never did go well with my weak heart.
Same black hair and green eyes...still scary. Just taller. And maybe a bit scarier.
I just stood there my chin probably grazing the pavement.
When I didn't say anything he squinted his eyes.
He leaned forward and I backed intothe garbage can.
"Boo!" he shouted
Then I ran screaming back down the block.

Oliver P.O.V
Oliver stared blankly at the space where Hailey once stood.
She ran away. I cannot belive it.
He clenched his fists. This is exactly why he didn't want to leave in the first place.He could be at home sleeping instead he's patrolling the streets like some loser.
He kicked the garbage and turned back in the direction he came from.
He was still hearing Hailey's scream ringing in his ears.
Firsy he can't get the girl to leave him alone then a few years pass and now she's running away in terror.
He shoved his hands in his pockets.
Stupid girl.
Well that probably would have gone better if he hadn't shouted boo. But the look on her face when she turned around was just priceless. She had looked like she was about to pee in her pants.
Still his coming out here was a mistake. The police would probably be escorting him back to the courthouse before the day is over.
He had so many charges against him loitering could possibly send him to jail.
What exactly did he do that evreyone is downright terrified of him.
A whole conspiracy against his freedom is what it is.
They all want to see him hauled of to a padded cell. He used to think, except one person.
But that one person seemed to forgotten everything that was between them.
This is why he wanted to stay at home never come out.
But if this was the way everyone was going to act then fine.
They want crazed spawn of the devil.
He'll give them crazed spawn of the devil.

Okay ppl is it worth continuing?

[shortstuff202]

Keep going.

[soulja-girl4eva]

K my crapity crap takes time

[shortstuff202]

K

[olivialovs2write]

Keep going very good!!

[lefty013]

I quite like it. Continue, please.

[soulja-girl4eva]

The lock made a solid *ping* as it slid shut.
I ran around the house checking the locks on the back door, the kitchen door, the windows and the cellar escape route. I ran back to the kitchen where my mother was sitting carefree with a piece of toast half-way to the land of no return
"Mom?"
"What." she said in her I'm-not-interested-so-leave-me-be tone.
"Is there someone out there?"
"Weren't you just outside?"
"Yes."
She sighed. "Then why are you asking me?"
"Because someone could have followed me."
This time she got up.
"Oh dear."
"I know it was terrifying I just turned--"
"Did your shadow frighten you again?"
"NO! It was a person!" I exploded.
"Go ask your father where the anti-creep stick is and work it out." Then she turned away and continued to eat.
I wondered what she would say if I suddenlt shouted "Oliver Burkins is out of his house and he tried to kill me!"
I ran up to my room and looked out the window where I could get a clear view of the Burkins' front yard. The gate was swinging and nobody was outsiside. It was as if nothing happened. Maybe I imagined the whole thing my dad always told me i was a bit insane. Then I saw the curtain flicker and a hand waved. I slunk down below my windowsill and closed the curtains. Okay. So I was not hullucinating. I wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.

[soulja-girl4eva]

Thx
one things for sure you guys are much more polite about it than my "friends"
but seriously let it rip if i made any mistakes.

[olivialovs2write]

I didn't see any mistakes except that you spelled suddenly wrong:
Then she turned away and continued to eat.
I wondered what she would say if I suddenlt shouted

Otherwise very good continue!!

[shortstuff202]

Keep going.