[spork_ur_i_out2]

ashac_isback wrote: Right now it just seems like another "emo" story. And I may be wrong but right now it seems rather predictable and boring. There is nothing that is pulling me into this story right now. It and the characters seem flat.

ASHA!
I've been reading through all the comments waiting to read ONE i agreed with
//Bows
I'm eternally greatful that you took the words from my mouth


Note to the author; this story, while not awful and shows potentional, needs a lot of work. The plot is slightly overused and the sentance structure is weak. Your spelling could use some work and all that jazz. Please, take more care into it.
Also, you're being VERY immature about whats posted on your thread. Not letting people post ideas? I mean, if someone has an idea for your story, accept it or politley don't. They understand it's "YOUR STORY" but they want to help in making it ''less boring''
Also, telling people not to post what they think is going to happen is ridiculous. If they post what they think is going to happen, you can turn it around into a kickbutt plot twist no one expected as opposed to making it the same boring plot everyone is expecting.
I'm not impressed with the story and I think there is a lot to say toward your maturity as an author. However, if you fix it up, take the advice of your readers, and loosen up you'll have a lot of potential. Until then....

[spork_ur_i_out2]

_lonelyprincess_ wrote: gee thanks...it's not like i can really get into writing when i'm just barely trying to keep it alive cuz i have so many honors classes and homework and trying to get scholarships!...thanks...like i don't already have enough going on, i need someone saying the little bit of story i have goin on, it a dull bit of waste!

Actually, you DO need to hear that
Critique is a big part of Writers Corner my dear, and if you can't accept it in a mature fashion, you don't belong here, plain and simple

[hottie_gone_wild]

Omg excatly and i hate the way we wait long for 1 short paragraph that doesnt explain much

[turtlecrazy97]

U shouldnt say ''we'''
because the only thing u knoe FOR SURE [[well now trhat song is in my head x]] ]]]
is u hate it.
cuz im not bothered by it :]

[_lonelyprincess_]

Sorry...fine...if you want me to be mature...here..(btw...not immature, sorry but i'm not..i'm just loosing my mind and stressing over school and the fact that my stepdad hates my guts and yells at me every five seconds...)
anywho..thank you all for your comments, i'm sure I do need them, I was just having a bad day and it made me upset, so i'm sorry for being rude and..."immature" and I will try harder, if you would like, I'll stop writing for now and when I actually have time, I'll write some down on a paper and continue it until i have some story!...Thank you very much for everything, and you guys really put everything into perspective, harsh perspective, but constructive perspective...

[spork_ur_i_out2]

_lonelyprincess_ wrote: sorry...fine...if you want me to be mature...here..(btw...not immature, sorry but i'm not..i'm just loosing my mind and stressing over school and the fact that my stepdad hates my guts and yells at me every five seconds...) anywho..thank you all for your comments, i'm sure I do need them, I was just having a bad day and it made me upset, so i'm sorry for being rude and..."immature" and I will try harder, if you would like, I'll stop writing for now and when I actually have time, I'll write some down on a paper and continue it until i have some story!...Thank you very much for everything, and you guys really put everything into perspective, harsh perspective, but constructive perspective...

Aye, you see, that's more like it ^_^
Never give up on the story, but it would be nice if you proof-read, take time on each post, and work on the character relationships.
There are hopeless writers out there dear, and you're not one of them. But you still NEED EDITING

[_lonelyprincess_]

Well..then i have a question..could you take time out of your sheduel..(meant to spell it wrong!) and go back over my story for me...help me out alittle and send me sort of a..."revised" version of your opinions

[turtlecrazy97]

O.o
im fine with it like this, and having little blips every day is good , if u ask me, and better than large parts every other month.
my opinion.(horrbiles spelling not sure if its spelled ritev.v)

[shaynedudeisback]

turtlecrazy97 wrote: u shouldnt say ''we''' because the only thing u knoe FOR SURE [[well now trhat song is in my head x]] ]]] is u hate it. cuz im not bothered by it :]

She never said that she said she hates the way everyone waits, and then get one paragraph. She never said everyone hates it.

[turtlecrazy97]

But she said

'' i hate the way WE wait''