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Old 3rd October 2009   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Quote:
ohdoctordie wrote: View Post

You could tell me what I could improve on? Because I know this is far from perfect.

Yeah, if I look for something that you could improve on, then you'll probably hold a grudge. If I try really hard, I can always find something to pick on.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Why would I hold a grudge if you're helping me improve my writing? I mean, unless you're unintelligent or rude about it, it's not a bad thing. I don't hate you for pointing out that Juliet suddenly believing Clyde was a vampire was unrealistic. Just give me something I can work with.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Lol, you remember that post. Okay, but remember that I'm rereading to really see what feels awkward in the writing.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

I can't find any flaws. Haha.

But it's kind of hard to tell what's going on right about now.

All I can tell is this guy is going in to see this girl who is a very bad bad person?
That's all I know, so it's kind of confusing at this point, but I'm sure it will get better.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Wait, so he wrote classics and I never knew his name?
Well, I feel incredibly stupid right now.
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Last edited by obese; 3rd October 2009 at 04:10 PM.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Glass: That'll definitely be clarified pretty soon. Thanks for letting me know.

Dylan: Better late than never. His stories were kind of the catalyst for me dropping RRH. Beautiful, beautiful storytelling, gahh.
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Old 3rd October 2009   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Touché Indy, touché
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Old 3rd October 2009   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

The only thing I can see, that I dislike, is there really isn't much description between the prisoner and the mystery man. I'm assuming he is probably a priest. Other than that it's good. Everything seems to be realistic. I really couldn't find much to pick on.
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Old 6th October 2009   #39 (permalink)
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Just gonna give this a little bump.
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Old 6th October 2009   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: Fritz

Don't let this dieeee, Indy. D;
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