Forums

j5fangirl · 07:31 PM

Eh, something I jotted down in the last 5 minutes of math.
I like the feel from it, so I may continue.
C&C?
__

DASU

It was still quiet in the bush, though the sun had risen from the horizon sometime ago. Dasu sat in the long golden grass, his legs folded and his eyes closed to the yellowing world around him. He breathed deeply, the rise and fall of his bare chest the only movement he made. His tightly curled black hair was cropped short, showing the dark brown skin of his neck and ears. His eyes, when open, were a chocolaty brown and framed by a thick curtain of raven lashes. He appeared to be about thirteen years of age, though quite tall for his years. A machete lay glinting in the grass next to him, within easy reach if something were to happen.
A cricket began to Chirrup; and was soon joined by a humming chorus of its peers. Dasu ignored it, though one eyelid flickered lightly.

xxwhatever2xx

I like it...

j5fangirl

RLYRLY?

xxwhatever2xx

Oh totally.

j5fangirl

bob-the-blob

Awsomesauce, I like it

obese

This is really good Ruby and your discription is wonderful.

duskuela

I'm impressed. I actually held my breath while I was reading it, heheh. You do a really great job of showing the reader what's going on- instead of telling us what to feel. Seriously, I'm impressed. It's a huge issue with 99% of the writers on here. Even if you don't continue this particular piece- it'd be really cool if you could do more snapshots like this. I enjoy reading stuff like this, and it should be a good example of what more people on here should do.

yuzukiluvv

I like it.

obese

Quote:

duskuela wrote:

I'm impressed. I actually held my breath while I was reading it, heheh. You do a really great job of showing the reader what's going on- instead of telling us what to feel. Seriously, I'm impressed. It's a huge issue with 99% of the writers on here. Even if you don't continue this particular piece- it'd be really cool if you could do more snapshots like this. I enjoy reading stuff like this, and it should be a good example of what more people on here should do.

CAT!!!!